[daily write] i feel trapped.
It was back, it was strong, and she wasn’t sure she could stop it this time. It consumed her, blinding her to any of the goodness in her life, trapping her in an endless abyss of darkness. There was no way escape when she started to fall, the walls that kept her safe seeming to melt away as if burned by dripping acid. Closing her eyes, she felt herself exposed to the world, to the harsh reality of her past, to the pain that never seemed to go away.
If only she could escape for a minute. The thought bounced endlessly in her head, echoing to the very core of her being. It was the only way. If she did manage to get away this time, it would only come back again, when she least expected it. She knew it would never let go, the claws deep into her skin and ripping away the outermost layer of her skin, exposing that unearthly white flesh underneath.
She sighed, understanding the desperation of her situation. The last time this had happened, she had wallowed in the pain for days before finally finding the strength to pull out of it. What she feared the most was that one day she would find that she had run out of that strength and she would be trapped in the abyss forever. Nothing would be able to save her, no one else could help her.
Sure, people would cry when they found out she had finally escaped, and she felt sorry for those who might miss her, but she reasoned that she was headed to a better place, where the past couldn’t find her, and she would finally be free.