The great escape.
For me, photography is an escape from the everyday. I get to pick up a camera and go around seeing things the way I choose through a light-proof box. It’s like my rabbit-proof fence. It keeps me in and the pests out. The camera separates me from the world, but also connects me to it. It lets me keep a piece of the world all to myself, but it also gives me something to share with the people around me.
I have a really low upload rate for the photos I take. I may take 100 photos, but only upload about a quarter of them. There are lots of reasons why I wouldn’t upload them all. I find a lot of my work pretty insipid and boring, and I think that the rest of the world probably isn’t interested in the hundreds of photos I’ve taken of fire hydrants or my feet standing on the sidewalk. Maybe being unhappy with my photos is just part of being a shooter. That unhappiness keeps me striving for more, yearning to learn how to express myself just the way I want. There are so many times when I see a potential photo, feel something as I stand there and shoot it, but somehow don’t feel like I expressed it correctly when I look at the finished photo. It’s missing something that’s not quite telling the viewer everything I want. Maybe I’m just too critical of my own stuff, but it’s just how it is right? It’s always the self-criticism that is the worst.
I’m on a path, leading from here to there, but I don’t have a map and I’m not really sure where “there” is and if I’ll ever get there. Maybe “there” doesn’t even exist for me. It’s more like an ideal zen state that I’ll probably never reach. Maybe I’ll finally be happy with my photography if I ever do reach it, but I’m just as happy not reaching it.
I think I’m content going out, taking photos, talking to friends about it, and living life as a generally upbeat, happy person. It’s an escape from the mundane, a record of where I’ve gone, what I’ve done, who I’ve done it with. I think that in a few years when I look back at my photos, I’ll remember most the process, going out with friends, meeting new people. It’s not so much the shots I’ve taken, but the way there. Ha… That’s a rather vapid observation eh?