I’ve been losing some weight lately through little to no effort on my part. Maybe it’s because we live up in town now, so I bike around a lot more than I used to, or maybe it’s because I’ve somehow changed my eating habits without noticing. Whatever the reason, I’ve lost a few pounds and noticed that some of my clothes fit better and some of them are now too loose to wear without belts or other cinching methods.
For whatever reason, I’ve decided that the reason behind this is not a) increased exercise, or b) decreased appetite. It must be either some kind of horrific degenerative disease or a tapeworm, whom I’ve named Roger. (It’s not as easy to name a horrific degenerative disease, so I’ve gone the "easy" route with the tapeworm instead.)
You heard me right.
Roger and I, we get along pretty well and he likes eating whatever I’m eating. He probably likes it so much that he keeps digesting everything for me and not letting me eat any. I’ve come to think of Roger as my secret little alter-ego and not just any old tapeworm living off my body. I’d like to use him as an excuse once in a while when I am feeling too tired to meet with people.
I really wish I could hang out tonight, but I’ve already got plans with Roger. Yeah, again. He’s feeling kinda lonely today so I really should spend some time with him. Sorry!
Luckily, I haven’t had to use that on anyone yet, because people don’t really ask me to do stuff. I’m usually the one to ask them to do stuff with me. Boohoo for me. Well, that’s not really a problem at all. I am just outgoing and usually end up being the one who does the planning.
But yes, I’ve secretly been using Roger as my really awesome excuse for everything. He’s become a bit of a scapegoat, but I’m sure he doesn’t mind. I’ll just help myself to another slice of cheese for him.
N.B. I hope I don’t really have a tapeworm (or a horrific degenerative disease), but for now it’s fun talking about Roger.