On the subject of couple-dom
[Upon re-reading this post, I am decidedly rambling (especially with that bit at the end), but for some reason, I just don't feel like editing to tighten the prose. Sorry everyone, just deal.]
Fran and I will be celebrating our wedding anniversary soon. It’s right near my birthday so that I can remember it. Yes, I am the one who forgets. (I had to ask Fran which day it was just recently.)
I must admit to something: I don’t talk about being married or taken that much. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve had several awkward sorta-dates inquiries from guys. I usually don’t even see it coming and when it does, I’ve still had to ask friends just to make sure that there was Romantic Intent involved because I still can’t tell.
Call me blissfully unaware. Or ignorant. Whatever.
The problems seem to be: way too friendly, a complete lack of any kind of ring, and failure to gush about the husband. Let’s break it down…
Hi, be my friend!
The most interesting thing about already being spoken for is that I think it makes me even friendlier to the majority of guys out there. I don’t worry about the awkward moment when one of us finds out that romantic plans are on the brew. It’s just not even on the table for me since I’m off the market. I guess it puts me at ease when it comes to getting to know people.
(One of my single girlfriends observed that I probably so easily meet a lot of guys because I don’t have that does-he-like-me-too awkwardness. I suppose she’s right, but I never really thought about it like that until she pointed it out.)
Oh and then there is also the interesting fact that I do not wear a wedding or engagement ring. The real reason I don’t wear them is that we bought both rings when my fingers were significantly larger and now the two rings are too loose to be worn on my left-hand ring finger. We have meant to get both resized, but it’s a bit complicated by the fact that 1) the wedding ring has evenly spaced diamonds around the perimeter which would become asymmetric if they cut it to make it smaller, and 2) the engagement ring is a weighty and thick loop of platinum that might not look right after a significant resize.
The main solution right now is to put the engagement ring away somewhere and wear the wedding ring on my right-hand middle finger, the most comfortable option, but not indicative of the relationship situation.
Oh that guy? My roommate?
I should also mention that I don’t really talk about Fran all that much to people. I don’t like to throw around the phrase "my husband" to people just because, well, some people automatically think married people are boring.
Let’s face it, married folks are boring for the most part. All they want to do is go do stuff with the spouse. And never hang out with friends alone, and never make friends of the opposite sex.
That’s not how we operate. I have actually had several friends mention how I don’t act like a Married Girl because I still have a social life on my own.
It’s not like I hide Fran’s existence. I do talk about him if the situation warrants it (e.g., discussing how he plays ice hockey or where I got my Japanese candies from), but for the most part, I find that it is unnecessary to gush about him and gratuitously toss him out there just to call him My Husband.
By the way, for those of you who are one half of a co-dependent couple: I really want to get to know you as an individual person, not someone who is half of a couple and constantly listening to you gush about your Special Someone or not being able to hang out alone with you is really lame. Do you have to bring him/her everywhere you go? Really? Are you able to do anything on your own without this person? Ever?
I get the puppy love thing, but there comes a point where you have to resume your own independent life and stop spending every waking moment together, right?
So sorry, but I don’t think we’ll become good friends. I dislike co-dependent couples.
Haha… For a coupled-up girl, I am so anti-couple it’s ridiculous. I’m just glad Fran lets me retain my independent spirit. Then again, if he didn’t, we wouldn’t be together in the first place.