a left-eyed girl

living in a 2 dimensional world

Five on Friday: On being reserved

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It’s October 1st today and I am welcoming the passing of my birthday month and the start of a whole new month of life, and what a wonderful life it is. I’m not going to gush and gush about how great life is, because that’s going to make me sound like a completely moronic imbecile. Instead, I’ll write about my self-improvement goal of the month: be more reserved.

Lately, I’ve been giving myself self-improvement goals on a monthly basis. I tried being more introverted, spending more time alone and learning to enjoy my own company without turning to distraction immediately. I’ve also made it a goal to see as many of my close friends as possible in a single month. And now, with the start of a brand new month, my goal is to become more reserved, to try to think and give myself a moment before I react.

If you’ve met me, then you probably know that I am not the reserved type of person. I show a lot of my emotions immediately on my face and I do not have difficulty expressing myself when I am excited or upset. I am a very animated type of person, with rather instant reactions (not to be confused with physical reaction time, which is actually quite slow, hence not being very agile).

Oh right. I’m supposed to do some kind of list of five things today, so here are five reasons why I’m doing this self-improvement bit:

1. To push my own personal limits

I am well aware that I have a limited comfort zone. I like to be in the sweet spot and not stray too far outside. By gently pushing my limits each month, I can widen this comfort zone. As a random example, I never used to be able to eat alone in public, but lately I’ve been doing this more often without feeling so awkward.

2. To meet people outside the regular circle

The more I push outside of my usual limits, the more likely it is that I’ll make more friends outside the usual circle. I strive for diversity in all aspects of life, so it only makes sense to get to know as many people as I can.

3. To keep things fresh

Setting personal goals each month gives me something to work towards with my life. It’s not like my life lacks focus, but it’s still nice to have something to strive for. I suppose it has a lot to do with being a goal-oriented type of girl. I’ve never been one to get something done unless I’m given a deadline.

4. To stay young

I’ve noticed that as I get older, the more I am set in my ways. I like things a certain way and I think about things a certain way too. In a sense, I’m finally growing up and cementing my personality and likes/dislikes, but I also feel like I never want to be so set in my ways that I can’t figure out how to see life from someone else’s perspective, or to see a situation from another angle. Having these monthly self-improvement goals is definitely keeping me young and broadening my horizons.

5. To have fun

Yes, I will admit that the biggest reason for having these monthly goals is to have fun! The interesting thing is that sometimes I will set the goal and have a certain expectation of what will happen, but will happily discover some other side effect as well. When I was trying to be more introverted, I had no idea how much I would enjoy being by myself when I allowed it to happen. I thought it would be a gruelling, rather miserable month, but it turned out to be quite educational. I got a lot of reading done, went out to cafes by myself, and really examined the state of my current friendships. I learned how to stand being alone, and discovered that not only is it "not so bad" but it’s actually quite fun to boot.

I hope that this month, I will find that learning to control my immediate reactions to everything will not only make me appear more even-tempered and calm, but also possibly make me feel more even-tempered and serene on the inside.

Written by Reese

October 1, 2010 at 10:06 am

Posted in just life

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