a left-eyed girl

living in a 2 dimensional world

I can see you ignoring me!

with 10 comments

I need to rant a little bit about something… Let’s take this whole bit as a hypothetical just in case someone get their panties in a twist about this.

And first, a little bit of background:

I am a happily married girl who just happens to not wear a wedding ring for various reasons, but the most important reason is that I lost a ton of weight and we just haven’t bothered to buy me a new ring yet that fits my marital-status-indication finger. Just so you don’t get all up on my case, I need to now mention that I wear my wedding ring, but I wear it on my middle finger.

Oh but wait, you want to know why I haven’t resized my real wedding ring to fit on my marital-status finger? Do you know a torus is? Well, that’s what my ring looks like and it has these teeny tiny diamond chips equally spaced around the perimeter. Oh, I just did an all-powerful internet search and found this ring that looks similar, but mine has a circular cross-section. If I went about resizing it, the equally spaced diamonds wouldn’t be equally spaced anymore.

(And yes, knowing that the diamonds weren’t equally spaced would actually bother me.)

Anyway, I don’t wear my wedding ring on the correct (in America) finger, so sometimes when I befriend a boy, they get a little confused and think I’m available when I’m definitely not. In fact, Franny and I have such independent lives that some of my bikey friends don’t believe I’m married since he rarely comes out to bikey things with me. (Franny is not into biking, so I usually attend these things solo or with a bikey friend.) One of my friends told me that he thinks I just tell guys I’m married so they don’t hit on me, but it’s really just a front since he’s not met Franny yet and we’ve known each other for almost half a year.

But yes, back to what I was going to rant about in the first place:

So, hypothetically speaking, let’s say I’ve managed to meet someone that commutes with me everyday. This someone is of the male persuasion and for a while, we were texting back and forth about stuff we were both interested in such as bicycles and reading recommendations. And it all went swimmingly until I mentioned off-hand that I was married. Then he suddenly stopped texting me and started ignoring me entirely on the train. He doesn’t even acknowledge my presence. I do not exist in his world.

Just yesterday I sat across from him (directly facing him with our knees practically touching!!) and he thoroughly ignored me. What is really quite awkward is that we have mutual friends on the train and he will talk to them and continue to entirely ignore my presence.

I don’t get it. What is the problem here that he must pretend like I don’t exist? Does the fact that I’m married mean that I am no longer friend material? Does he have no interest in women, other than for sexual pursuits? Women can sometimes make for good friends, or so I hear. I actually don’t have many female friends for various reasons (but that’s a whole other post).

The next time I see him on the train, I am definitely going to do the "Oh… HELLO THERE," complete with pointed stare and expectant look, awaiting his response, and we’ll see what happens. I haven’t done anything to wrong him (that I know of) other than not being available for more than friends.

Written by Reese

January 20, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Posted in just life

10 Responses

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  1. You each had different desires for the relationship. Nothing wrong with moving on.


    January 20, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    • Yes, that’s very true. I just get all uppity sometimes. You know how I can get.


      January 22, 2011 at 9:15 am

  2. “Does he have no interest in women, other than for sexual pursuits?”
    Far too many guys think this way. It’s disgusting 😦


    January 20, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    • Haha… yeah, it’s too bad. I think guys could get a lot more chicks if they had girls as friends too. It makes them seem less weird and predatory.


      January 22, 2011 at 9:15 am

  3. I don’t wear a ring either. In fact we both didn’t get it because we don’t need it to be happily married (going on 12yrs). If nothing else, it’s not even worth your time in effort to find out what’s his problem.


    January 20, 2011 at 9:55 pm

  4. What a loser!


    January 21, 2011 at 11:08 pm

  5. Late to the game here, but some guys only see the friends status as a way to get you on their side. I think you’ve filtered out this guy to be after more than just friendship.

    Anyway, I only wear my ring when I’m out – my fingers haven’t fattened as fast as I thought they would 5 years ago so it’s easy to slide off. Sadly, I think it’s my wife who gets more attention than I 😦

    Peter B

    January 25, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    • Ya, the way I see it, he’s losing out on friends this way! Oh well… not really my problem anymore.


      January 25, 2011 at 9:30 pm

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