I turned the wheel back and forth, winding my old truck up that concrete spiral to the second to highest floor in the car park. My mind was full of static and jumbled thoughts, so I concentrated on getting the truck safely up the ramp, pulling into a spot facing the wall of the building. It was one of the spots where the concrete wall was replaced by thick horizontal wires so that I could see straight out over the edge.
The headlights looked straight out into the fog, lightly illuminating a tall tree growing from a brown square of dirt. It always amazed me to see plants growing from these small breaks in the concrete. I know the roots spread wide under the pavement like an iceberg under the surface of the water, but it still surprised me to see such a tall tree growing from a seemingly small square of dirt.
From where I was parked, I could see out to the nearby highway. Cars were slowly crawling along, packed tight like sardines during rush hour. I imagined everyone alone in their cars, watching the clock on the dashboard, listening to music. Maybe they were listening to talk radio or the news, but more likely listening to music and humming or singing along. I narrowed my eyes, trying to see if anyone was singing, but I was too far away to make it out.
Turning the key, I switched off the ignition with a click. The motor cut out and the silence poured into the cab, but was quickly overpowered by my noisy thoughts. I couldn’t get everything sorted and the effort was making my eyes water. There were too many things at once, too many feelings, too much pain. I looked off into the distance beyond the windshield, my gloved left hand still resting on the steering wheel, my right hand quietly dropping off the key and into my lap. Reaching for the old metal handle with the smooth ivory-coloured knob, I rolled my window down about halfway; the cool air felt nice against my face.
A train rumbled by, one of the commuter lines, probably full of people on their way to work. I watched the smooth line of the train as it traced its way along the slightly curving track, gliding effortlessly below me. It disappeared off into the distance, the horn growing ever fainter. I thought of all the other people moving about at this early morning hour, probably heading to the office in appropriate business attire. I looked down at my customary skirt, smoothing it lightly with my fingertips against my knee. My flesh felt slightly warm even through my gloves, and I gently squeezed my thigh in my hand, feeling the firm muscle pressing against my fingers.
So many things to do today, but first I had to calm down and get out of my truck. Then the rest of the dominoes could continue to fall.