The Drafts folder and why I write
I post to this blog via a handy-dandy email function. There are about 8 half-finished posts in my Drafts folder that I started writing but just stopped for no reason. A couple of them started to meander from my original intention, and I decided to just stop writing when things got too incoherent. More than a few of them are rather whiny and complain about everyday stuff that really doesn’t matter to the rest of the world. Plus, I’d rather not dwell on a lot of the petty stuff, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings in case they read my post and think I’m writing about them. I’m not trying to hurt feelings or be negative and whiny here.
(Random goal: Be less passive-aggressive.)
To sum up the contents of the Drafts folder there are posts on:
- Starting up 10-minute writing exercises again
- Prevailing themes/aspects of literature that I find interesting
- More thoughts on the Didion book I recently finished
- What I’ve been baking lately
- Complaints about something/someone that annoyed me the day before
- Various hang-ups regarding food and body image
- Silly introspective crap about my feelings and insecurities
Some of these seemed interesting at first, but then I lost interest or I dove off into some other topic that ended up becoming a post all on its own. I’m not really a writer; I don’t write just for the sake of writing. I use it to get myself sorted. I suppose that if I was more of a "writer" then I’d probably have a much more focused blog, maybe write about a single topic or present some of the one-page stories that I write for myself sometimes.
It’s really tough to maintain something like that though, when you’re not focused enough. I really admire people who doggedly present a single-topic blog over many years, because my attention span is quite short and writing on a single topic can bore me within a few months.
(That’s probably a sign that I may never be able to make a living off my writing.)
So what the heck so I write about? All I really know how to write about is my own life, and I try to do that in plain english. I don’t know how to make things poetic, how to make people really understand me. Sometimes, I do wish I had that ability to just connect with other people through what I write, but I’ve long given up on trying for any kind of style, and any insightful commentary I could provide has already been hashed and re-hashed many times over. And so, I write in my own style, about topics I don’t think are of any importance to others, but are bouncing around in my head and need to get out.
Maybe a better way to put it would be: I write because I need to.