It really is in the details, boys
It doesn’t happen all the time, but from time to time, I get hit on (by men).
(I did have a conversation with a friend asking if I’ve been hit on by women, but I have to admit no to that. I just might not be a girl’s girl, or I don’t hang out at places filled with lesbians.)
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the dating game. Hmm… the Mister and I got together in 2000, so it’s been over 10 years (good grief, we’re old). While I’m sure that things are essentially the same (girl meets boy, a first date is involved, and then ensuing dates happen), things do seem a bit more complicated than before.
For one, people (typically) have mobile phones, so it’s really easy to get wrapped up in texting someone back and forth all the time. You could possibly reach that special someone at all hours of the day as long as their don’t work in a building with double-thick concrete walls, or in the basement of such a building.
Then there’s the whole internet-stalking deal too. Come on, haven’t we all googled someone we’re interested in? Or maybe it’s just me? I totally do that. Yes, I do. It’s nice to find someone, read about their jobs and where they’ve lived before, maybe see their photos, find their blog where they talk about dating and such…
(I actually try not to do it too much since I usually prefer to find out about someone directly from him/her, instead of doing the whole internet stalking thing.)
But you know what? When it comes down to actually hitting on people, it’s still a highly misunderstood art form. Sure, the strong eye contact and open smile help (as do smelling good and getting your life together), but there are some things I feel I have to remind guys about.
1. Hold open doors for ladies that you like. At least offer to pay, even if she will argue and insist on paying for herself. A bit of chivalry is always nice.
2. Be courteous or at least appear like you care about someone else in the world other than yourself. Be nice to the waitstaff at dinner and don’t be a stingy tipper. Acting selfish in small ways makes me think you’re probably selfish in the bedroom too, and that’s never fun.
3. For f*ck’s sake, don’t be a lazy mofo. Maybe this is just me, but I would NEVER want to be with someone who brags to me about rockstar parking (that probably took you 20 minutes of circling anyway) or is always too tired to hang out. If you’re so tired all the time, then maybe you’re too tired for a girlfriend right now. Drink some effing coffee and perk the hell up.
4. You really can’t go wrong with complimenting your lady. Seriously, I never get tired of hearing, "Hello beautiful!" whether it comes from someone I like or the hobo down the street. (A hobo just said this to me earlier this week and I thought it was adorable.)
Yes, I know dating is hard. You may have to date a lot of incompatible people before you find someone you really like. And also, complaining about dating is hard on your friends, okay? Over-analysing every itty bitty move that he’s making is really too much to ask of your friends (well it’s too much to ask of me as your friend anyway).
Oh right. I’m married, so my advice is probably being met with, "That’s easy for you to say; you’re married!" That’s fine. Really, I feel really lucky to be in a relationship when I talk to my friends who are unsuccessfully dating. Really. Lucky.
Good luck out there, kids.