a left-eyed girl

living in a 2 dimensional world

Archive for May 2017

5月28日(日)

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Tonight I cuddled with E as she lay on my shoulder. Her hair brushed against my cheek. Those soft waves of dark brown, almost black hair. We’d already turned off the lights so I couldn’t see her, but I felt her contentedly burrowed into me, her steady breathing whispering in the darkness.

As I waited for her to fall asleep, I thought about how both kids had inherited my soft, slightly wavy hair instead of their father’s stiff straight hair. I already knew all the struggles they’d have with their hair, our hair. The grass is always greener, or something like that. I’d gone through many years of curling or straightening it, dyeing it any color I thought might work, trying all different hairstyles before I’d found something that worked for me. They’d probably go through similar stages, trying all kinds of looks. Girls can be chameleons in a way.

I also thought about all the other struggles they’d have in their lives. And all the issues I’d have to watch them going through, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to help. Many would be ones they’d need to work out themselves. Learning to love others and themselves, finding a place where they fit and were accepted.

Maybe that’s one of the harder bits of parenting. I haven’t done it before either, so all I can do is roll with the punches as they come.

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Written by Reese

May 28, 2017 at 5:10 am

Posted in just life

5月22日(月)

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こんにちは

お久しぶりですね。

I’m sat in a small room with one window, three television screens, and about 20 pink chairs. There is a mother and her daughter sitting at the opposite end of the room. The large ice cream vending machine behind me has been making various whirring sounds for the past 25 minutes. I’ve tried to find a pattern but it’s near impossible.

One of the three video screens is showing my daughter L’s swimming class. The seventh floor gallery was too full of people today so I am here on the third floor, watching from a television. 

The vending machine suddenly stops.

The room is quiet except for the kid doing her homework; she’s quietly reading the questions to herself.

The sound is off on the televisions so I continue to watch the swimming class in near silence, only the distant sound of a train chugging by every few minutes.

I always think to spend this time doing something constructive like reading or knitting, but instead I often spend it browsing social media sites on my phone or napping. My younger daughter, E, is always with me too. She spends most swimming practices sleeping but sometimes she is awake and I’m not allowed to sit still. Instead we walk around and go up and down the stairs until the class is over.

Two more women have come to the waiting room. They are chatting quite loudly and I hope they won’t wake up E from her nap. The vending machine hasn’t turned back on so I think about all the ice cream slowly getting warm deep inside the machine. I know it’ll kick on as soon as the ice cream warms past a certain point. Or at least I hope it will.

Written by Reese

May 22, 2017 at 1:28 am

Posted in just life